It is 1:06 PM on a Monday, and quite a few hours have passed since the Mayorship torch of Grafik has passed on to a new bearer. Tensions are running high. And this Hyper-Interactivity blogger, and former holder of said torch, has spent many a sunset under his desk, shedding hopeless tears while trying to find a solution to this fierce rivalry.

The reality is that FourSquare, and the misconduct it inspires, is tearing the interactive team apart. Because he cheated, see. Brad checked in on a Sunday when the rest of us were out sipping mimosas and eating hash browns at brunch. I worked hard for the Mayorship, and Brad overthrew me by working hard at work.

Fellow Hyper-Interactivist Brandon has tried offering  some sound advice on this insanely unfortunate situation, “Just let Brad be the Mayor of Grafik. He is, after all, the social media strategist.” But Brandon just doesn’t get it. I worked my fingers to the bone to achieve my high-appearance count!

But then I started to wonder why he would even suggest such a thing to me. Brandon long ago admitted defeat to ever becoming the Mayor of Grafik, as he is miles behind everyone else. Content with his little Mayorship of the company bathrooms, he would never dare to challenge the checking-in giants of Grafik’s FourSquare, at least not without help…

Wait a minute there. Do I detect, through the foggy mist of my rage, the outline of betrayal? Has my fellow office mate, and self-professed “friend,” offered allegiance to Brad, who has become drunk on the prospect of complete control of all the Mayorships of Grafik? With both the Mayorship of Grafik and the Bathrooms there would be no escaping this tyrannical and social-networking-obsessed duo.

Something must be done. The innocent citizens of Grafik are blithely going about their day, oblivious to the corrupt exchanges of power happening in the digitized 3G space around them.

So I’ve been checking in everywhere I can at Grafik. I’ve quickly become the Mayor of the Back Closet, of the Kitchen Sink, of the Color Printer, and I’ll become the Mayor of the dust bunnies in the supply closet corner if it will aid in this growing war. Brad may be the Mayor of Grafik, but we all know how out of touch rulers become with their contingencies.  I will rally my Mayorships of the actual physical components of Grafik, and like the democracy-starved citizens of Egypt, overthrow the unrightful and cheating Mayor!

Lay people of Grafik do not worry! The return of the True Mayor of Grafik shall rise once more, and there shall be peace again in the land of Old Town Alexandria.

For those uninitiated readers, FourSquare is a mighty social-networking weapon, bestowed by the gods in a smartphone app form which grants the user the power to “check-in” at any establishment. Once enough check-ins have been accumulated, the user is crowned Mayor of said establishment; the ultimate reward for garnering the title of most frequent visitor. Some places offer incentives, such as special deals and discounts just for checking in, but the real draw, the main reason why so many users’ eyes glitter with Mayoral greed, is the right to carry one’s head far above all those other casual and amateur Foursquare users.

Hyper-Interactivity is a column written by two of Grafik’s interactive designers.